so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize