the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
