I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
