he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
