oh god the rape fog is back!
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
