I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
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Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
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This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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