So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
