just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
a search helicopter?!
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
