Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
