Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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