i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
