in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
