I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
