I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
