did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
