Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
