I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
