I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
