is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
