absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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