so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
