I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
