I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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