Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
