physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
