good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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