And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize