Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
