that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
