I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
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You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
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I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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