they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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