You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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