Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
