Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
