At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
