i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
