You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
