Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
