How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
