you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
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I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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