dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
