Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize