Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
