A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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