you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
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You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
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Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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