i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
