I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
