Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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