the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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