Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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