Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
