My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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