It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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