Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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