two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
