What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
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