Non-Jews are for practice
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
