It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
