At least make sure they are 18
Why
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Randomize
