I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
