you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
