when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
