In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
