i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
